Begrudging Temporary Goddess
by drivenbysomething
Summary: What happens, when your flat vanishes during a blackout? Why is everyone wearing strange looking helmets where ever it is you've landed? Well, if you want to know the answers, have a look...
1. Chapter 1

**Begrudging Temporary Goddess**

What happens, when your flat vanishes during a blackout? Why is everyone wearing strange looking helmets where ever it is you've landed? Well, if you want to know the answers, have a look...

**1. My hallway is not 100 meters long**

I think, I urgently need a holiday or any other compensatory time off. A well mannered booze-up might be enough, too, to calm my nerves. But here, at this place, there is no alcohol or at least not obviously reachable. Here a soldiers wearing ridiculous helmets. Why would anyone wear a helmet with horns on top? Did I miss something concerning fashion that I won't take part in anyway, because it just looks stupid? What the hell happened?!

I swear, not even five minutes ago I've been sitting on my couch, quite cozy with a cup of tea, while some movie was on the television, that I was not really interested in. Crochet hook in my right hand and I literally fluffed my lines. The TV went silent, shortly after the lights went out. Great. Blackout. Completely! It's utterly dark, next door the fat neighbor's kid screams, because the TV went out. Oh well, dear fat neighbor's kid. No power, no TV; no microwave food, no pizza. Pizza is now defrosting in the refrigerator. That's the way it is, fat neighbor's kid.

I search for the lighter, which lays on the table, light the candle on the table and look for the flashlight. It is somewhere in the living room cupboard, along with the tools. Yes, I own tools and I keep them in my living room cupboard, because there is nowhere else room for it and because I'm too lazy to go down to the basement for every little screw. Anyway, somewhere in this cupboard is my flashlight and I'm looking for it. But beforehand I bump to the edge of the table. It's not like the table wasn't there before, no, I did it, because I felt like it. I have so much natural grace; I would never run into things without purpose. Maybe with purpose, like right now. I rub my throbbing shin, drip candle way everywhere on the carpet to all abound and find blackouts completely stupid.

Cursing under my breath I open the cupboard; a open box containing screws flies out and the screws start rolling around the floor. Okay, at least I have a job for the rest of the night, because otherwise I would step onto them at the latest tomorrow morning. Barefoot, of course, I don't do things by halves.

Finally I find the flashlight, but, of course, the batteries are down. The gods love me. Every day they place new, little obstacles in my way, which are a pain in the ass. This time I bypass the table safely and bump only my toe to the armchair, pick a screw out of my foot and thank the gods, that I keep my knifes in the kitchen. How could I get so old without breaking my neck? In the next cupboard I find batteries, put them in the flashlight, and while the fat kind next door demands, that its mother has to get the TV working INSTANTLY. I'm pretty curious, where the mother finds a TV running on batteries. Switching on the flashlight, I open the living room door. Actually I want to go the bathroom, because I am caught short.

Attention to the word 'actually'. I am slightly confused by what I am seeing in the glow of my flashlight. I am sure, that there are no pillars, ten meters high, standing in my hallway, it's not well over 100 meters long and an hour ago no soldiers with gormless looking helmets have been running around there. Simply some lints were lying on the floor because I'm too lazy to vacuum.

One of them horned helmet wearers spotted me. 'Hey, you, woman! What are you doing here?' Well, he's got a nerve! 'That's what I wanted to know! What the hell are you doing in my hallway? And why does your helmet look so incredibly stupid?' His jaw dropped open, he gasps and then looks at me viciously. I am not even slightly impressed; I just can't take him seriously. 'Answer me, woman!' He's growling now. I tell him the truth, 'I'm looking for the toilet'. It's starting to get really urgently, my hallway is not my hallway anymore and my bathroom is gone as well. The situation is getting serious, I think. 'What an insolence'horn helmet barks.

Right at this moment I'm getting the bright idea to turn around and go back into my living room. The outworking simply fails because of the fact, that my living room is also gone. Someone stole my entire flat and put pillars in my hallway instead, which is not the worst tradeoff, to be honest. But still I need to pee and shoot a look to one of the vases standing decoratively in front of those pillars. Now I only have to get rid of this bloke, so I could jump behind that vase to pee. But I think, that's not going to happen, because the guy points his spear at me and exceptionally I don't have doubts about the sharpness of its tip. 'Come with me. Now!' That sounded like an order. I really, really like it, when someone orders me around. 'I have to pee badly' I'm wincing. 'Don't care. Come with me!' That didn't sound friendly anymore and the tip of his spear is less than an inch away from my throat. Shit. I rather follow him. Peeing has to wait.

The guy is walking behind me, spear pointed at my back. My stomach hurts, because my bladder is about to explode. 'I'll pee my pants. Pleeeeease!' With tears in my eyes I turn around and look at him. He rolls his eyes and sighs, 'Whatever'. He waves to a door left of me. 'Thank you!', I gasp and rip the door open. I am a bit confused about the privy, but with golden toilet seat, and then I follow my urgent call of the nature. Not even three seconds later it would have been too late. Afterwards I can think straight again. Obviously, something is wrong. This is really happening, I am sure, in my imagination I would have never have to pee. Oh dear. The gods love me more than anything. It seems they listened to my complaints and lamentations about my so boring life and brought me to a place, where a privy has a golden toilet seat and really soft towels. I should stay calm and I should absolutely open the door, because the soldier knocks on the door slightly impatient. Alright, potty break's over.

My escort leads my through huge double doors into the next room/hall, where more men with helmets are sitting. Looks like the annual assembly of the hunting club. Did I mention, that their helmets are as golden is the toilet seats?

One informs the highest helmet wearer about me, one counsels together and I wait good and dutifully. Flight would be stupid right now, I don't know this place and I wouldn't hold much against twenty men with golden helmets; additionally to that is my stamina not the best. To be honest, it is quite shitty. And: I'm wearing only socks and the floor is damn slippery. 'Who are you and why do you rove about here?', asks Captain Helmet. 'I just wanted to go to the toilet', I reply whining. That's the simple truth. And for this truth I'm shouted at, one doubts my common sense, thinks I am a traitor and finally decides to put me in a cell until those responsible decide what to do with me, but they are not available at the moment. I'd like to know who IS responsible here, because I have some annotations to make regarding hospitality. But hopefully my cell has a toilet; I need to use it again.

Maybe cell is not the appropriate word for my accommodation. Floor and ceiling are clinical white and nearly hurt the eyes with their cleanliness and instead of bars there is a pretty, yellow-golden wall, hitting me with a light shock when I tried to touch it. But: there is a small, narrow door and behind that door is the toilet. Saved is my night. There are no inhibitions for me to squat down, no, but the guy sitting in the cell across the hall watching me curiously is a bit suspicious. 'Something wrong?' I ask after a while, because his watching gets pretty annoying. He seems stunned, and then a minimum smile plays upon his lips.

'Where are your shoes?' He waves at my black socks, having red reindeers on them. Well, it's December and I think a little bit Christmassy flair is appropriate. Besides, they are warm. 'In my flat. Where I have been about an hour ago, before the lights went off and I had to spend a penny. And then the toilet was gone, my hallway was gone and a horde of horned idiots imprisoned me. I just wanted to pee'. By every word he gets more and more confused. I can't blame him; I think I would feel similarly.

'And where was your flat?' He does not really think that I'd tell him where I live? I mean, contrary to me his residence here is certainly justified. 'None of your business' I tell him. 'Right'. Clever little guy. Although, little guy is understated. He's pretty tall and lean. Long, dark hair reaches his shoulders, but is neatly brushed back. When it comes to such hairdoes I always get the feeling to rumple them up. Might be some hereditary defect. Additional to that: I have a weakness for long, dark hair. And for tall, lean men. I look closer and was as if struck by lightning. How gorgeous his eyes were! The color was pretty intense, somewhere between green and blue.

'As you said, it is none of my business, but I assume you do not originate in Asgard?' 'Asgard?' I cock my eyebrows and try to think, where I heard that before. Northern mythology. They had an Asgard. And Valhalla. I guess. They had a lot of gods running around. 'So I am right?' The jailbird with pretty eyes seems pleased with himself. 'You're kidding, right?' Asgard. Sure. I'm pretty sure, I bumped into my living room door because of my natural grace and knocked myself out. Another logical explanation doesn't come to my mind. Actually nothing comes to my mind concerning this whole thing here.

'You have an unbecoming manner of expression for a woman.' And he has pretty good observation skills. At least he realized that I am a woman. The only one down here. There are only two inmates - me and him. 'I very much apologize for my filthy utterances, Your Majesty.' 'I knew it. You played a joke on me. Quite brave, woman. So you know, who I am.' I surrender. I sit down on my bed, turn my back on him and strike my forehead with the flat of my hand. Doesn't help, but it is very relieving. I am not the only one to have a nut loose. This guy considers himself a king, emperor or prince. I consider myself a victim of a cosmic conspiracy, not very funny in my eyes, but surely a knee-slapper for the gods.

'I don't even know WHERE I am, how could I know WHO you are?' Now he looks subtly offended, he looks peeved at me. 'I am Loki Laufeyson.' Ah. Well, all right, I have to pass, I've never heard that name. So I say, 'pretty extraordinary name.' And way better than some names you come by nowadays. 'And what is your name?' Somehow I can't get rid of the feeling that he has been here for far too long with few visitors and little company. He pretty much forces a conversation on me. 'I won't tell you, that's not relevant, Mr. Laufeyson.' Always stay polite, right? 'I am a prince! You have to refer to me either as Your Majesty or Your Grace.' Okay, this is no prison, this is a psychiatric hospital. 'And what is Your Majesty doing down here? Has Your Grace been up to something?' Oh boy, apparently I pushed the right buttons. Your Grace is getting pretty angry. 'How dare you, you worm! You should consider yourself lucky, that I even think about talking to you!' Actually I'd consider myself luckier, if he shut up. His jabbering is annoying.

'Why don't you just shut your royal mouth then?' The prince's royal jar is now dropping, he gasps and falls silent. He shoots me a lethal look, then he turns his back on me. I must say, I am really charming when it comes to dealings with men. Because of this absolutely absurd and simultaneously real situation I have to chuckle. Prince Loki puffs indignantly, he probably thinks that I'm laughing him out of court. If he wants to. Why should I care, I've got my own problems. And a bad feeling, that they might get even bigger.


	2. Innocently guilty

**Before you start reading this chapter… The original story was written in German language and I have to thank a certain person for translating it… Thanks a lot, Frozen… She did a great job, don´t you think? Saubere Arbeit, Süße! Danke dafür! **

**Innocently guilty?**

Somewhat helpless I sit down on the narrow bed, which is not really comfortable, and I try to get some order in the events of the past hours. I fail miserably. I can't get any order into my closet, why should I succeed now? I am somewhere, where I'm not supposed to be, sitting in a cell, across the hall sits an obviously very confused man, who thinks he is a prince with a dumb name. And he shoots one mean look after another at me, but they don't impress me in any way. Why should they? As long he stays where he is, safe and sound in his own cell, everything's fine.

'You are by far the most impertinent creature that I have ever laid eyes on' he suddenly starts swearing. I yawn. It's not the first time that I hear this fact and I'm sure it won't be the last. 'There is always a first time, Mr. Prince.' I grin at him and I can see how he nearly explodes on the inside. Hm, such things give me so much joy. 'Apparently you do not know to whom you speak.' Yes, to Loki Laufeyson.

'It's the same with you. You still don't know my name.' Crossed arms in front of my chest I raise an eyebrow. As if he was the only one who could show off. 'You... You...' The prince is angry. He's searching for words. I have some creative suggestions, that I keep to myself. At least he doesn't wear a stupid helmet.

'I could step on you and crush you like an ant, you know that? I am the boot, you are the ant' he hisses. Oh, he threatens me. I think I will suffer from a horrible conniption.

'Yeah, sure. I begin to understand, why YOU are locked up here, Mr. Prince. But a really nice speech you held there.' Acknowledging I nod in his direction and grin even more. This is really funny. 'If I was not locked up here you would kneel humbly before me!'

Okay, that's enough, I have to laugh. Until the tears run down my face, my stomach hurts and I have to pee. If I get home again, I will get an appointment to an urologist, it can't be normal I have to pee so much. 'I would? Really? And then?' I chuckle and wait for his answer.

'You would serve me how it is allotted to you.' Damn it, he can talk. Good Lord! I'd like to discuss him under the table while having a glass of red wine. Or whatever it is they are drinking here, essential is, that it contains alcohol. Hell, where am I..?

'You mock me, right?' At least the master of rhetoric's is nobody's fool. 'A little', I smile sweetly and innocently, a smile I had to train hard for. Years of experience thanks to my job. I work in retail, where smiles are standard configurations to stand against idiots known as customers. 

He's fixing his eyes on me while I'm still smiling. I've got a lot of insight into human nature thanks to my job and this guy over there is torn up by self-doubts, paired with self-pity and anger. Pretty fatal mix, which can destroy everything for you in an instant. Especially when one has much time to contemplate.

'Incredible, this mortal is mocking me. That's happening to me. To ME!' The prince jabbers angrily to himself and I think I won't get much sleep tonight. Tomorrow I will complain extensively to whoever is responsible here. Lousy service, lousy guests and background noises nearly not bearable.

'My god, calm down. It's not really good for ones nerves to get upset like that.' 'What did you call me? God? This is a dangerous game you are playing with me, bint! Because I am a god. The god of Lies and Mischief.'

'Oh, yeah sure. I am Pippi Longstocking, when I'm not working undercover as nuisance.' The divine prince raises his eyebrowes and frowns. 'Undercover? So you are a spy?' Okay, hi IS stupid. Or maybe he has no sense of humor. Shouldn't the God of Lies realize when he's lied to?

'You will tell me instantly what your name is and where you are from. Otherwise...' Otherwise what? He will continue over texting me? Shoot angry looks to entertain me marvelously? 'Nope.' Again I grin. What can he possibly do to me?

I get an answer to my question quicker than I prefer. A strange, dull feeling spreads in my head, his voice is whispering, telling me to say my name though his lips are not moving. He's doing hocus-pocus! He's cheating, he really can do magic. Oh dear Lord, I guess he's not just thinking, that he's the God of Mischief, he really seems to be something of that kind. But I am a pig head and answer in my thoughts: 'My name is Rumpelstiltskin and I want to have your first born.'

The dull feeling vanishes as sudden as it came and I sigh with relief. 'Impossible! You cannot deprive my thought's control, you are a woman.' Oooh, what kind of macho attitude is this? Is he crazy? I can show him woman if he wants! Really.

'You're really and absolutely annoying, Loki Laufeyson' I roll my eyes and glance enviously at his huge pile of books, which is towering in his cell. I want a book now, too. No, I want two. A huge one where I can hide behind and a thick one, that I can throw at this Loki. With enough strenght I might even break this strange mesh of energy. I don't have any books, I'm not good at aiming and my feet are ice cold, despite the warm socks. Pretty sure this will get me a cystitis.

'I can see how you cudgel your brain, you are a really peculiar woman.' I don't want to disappoint him, but it's not the first time hearing this and I don't care. I'm really like Pippi Lonkstocking, I do what I like without caring about what others might think. 'So you really are a god? Why are you locked up then? Are you a bad god?' to be honest I'm really curious, who he is and what he did to end up here.

'I am a trickster. You really do not know who I am, do you? So you have to be from Midgard. Only there people are this witless.' Another place I have no clue about. My GPS neither, I guess, but I think this is more a name for the earth. The penny is beginning to drop, that I am seriously in another world and the jailbird over there really is a kind of a god.

'A trickster? Someone, who wants to do good while damaging a lot simultaneously?' Don't ask me, why I know that suddenly. I've never heard the word 'trickster'. Loki doesn't seem to bother, he keeps on talking cheerfully, 'I was badly betrayed, lied to, deceived and misunderstood. It has been like this since I was a child.'

Oh no, not again a jerk who blames everything little bad thing happening to him on his miserable childhood. 'There are a lot of these guys in my world also. And they don't end up in jail. At least not a lot of them.' 'Your world seems to differ a lot from mine. I was lied to and used by the man I called my father. Odin. And I did everything to please him.' ODIN rings a bell. I know him: big boss of the gods, many glorious battles. God's stuff. And Loki has daddy issues. Seems to be my fate to always meet guys with terrible pasts, originating in dysfunctional environments. Guys with divorced parents, or only one parent left. I am the light and they are the moths.

'So you are here completely innocent like me?', I want to know. He nods tiresome. Sure, we are all innocent and wearing halos. Mine is in flames, if you want to know. And this has nothing to do with my terrible childhood. 'How long have you been locked up here?' As an answer he just shrugs his shoulders, which he repeats to my question for how long he has to stay. Maybe they even forgot him down here? I would understand that, the lad is annoying. But he looks good. But if that compensates I don't know.

I want to ask another question when it suddenly starts to get loud. I hear footsteps, a mutter of voices, the clanking noise of iron and steel. A completely watch squad enters the prison, led by a huge, blond man. He is unshaved, heavily muscled and wears an armour and kind of a cape. Okay, he seems to be one of them responsible. Loki gets restless and tense by the sight of this hulk, despite his smile. It is a fake smile, not reaching his eyes. 'Thor' he says coldly.

The giant examines dark haired Loki from head to toe, nods shortly and then turns to me. 'So this is the allegedly traitor?' He speaks of me. God, that guy is so huge and broad, I guess I won't even reach his nipples. 'As I said all the time, I just wanted to go to the toilet.'

'You talk to me uncalled?' I sigh. This fuss bugs me. First Loki, now this giant here. Loki mutters something under his breath and chuckles faintly, apparently he has some fun. 'Be quiet, Loki. You have said and done enough. We finally repaired the Bifrost.' Bifrost?

'It's called Bofrost' I correct the big man uncalled. 'Bofrost?' he repeats leery. 'Bofrost, not Bifrost. They deliver frosted stuff home to you.' I don't think, that they have Bofrost here and Bifrost seems to be something else entirely. Loki's eyes are filled with tears and he makes strange, chortled noises. He definitely has way more fun than I do, but blondie's face is priceless. Completely uncomprehending. 'Seemingly you are not from Asgard.' 'No, Thor, she is definitely not from this world' Loki explains jolly.

'As if I do not have enough problems. Who are you and where are you from? Go on, answer me, woman!' This Thor-guy is as rude as the rest of those people here. 'I don't say anything without advocate. Period.' 'Advocate? Obviously Midgard. I do not have time for this. Outside is an impediment of captives waiting and I have to accommodate them here. Loki, I am sorry, but you will have to share your cell. When you start to manipulate her, I will put you in chains and gag you.'

'No way!', we shout synchronically. I don't want to come near him. This won't end good, I fear. But what does Thor-guy mean by chains and gag? Is this some Sado Maso club? 'No contradictions. From neither of you. Guards, bring this woman into Loki's cell, put a second bed in there and lock up the others.'

Quickly his soldiers are moving. Two of them are dragging a bed, one has an eye on Loki, Thor is standing in the hallway organizing everything. He is dirty and smells like man's sweat and blood. Much of it sticks to his forearms, which are thicker than my legs. A soldier opens my door and gestures me with a very strict expression to follow him. I shake my head and cross my arms in front of my chest. That's enough, I just want to go home. No sitting in a cell with a god of whatever, no discussing with some warriors if it is called Bifrost or Bofrost. The soldier looks baffled at Thor.

Thor rolls his eyes, enters my cell, grabs and throws me over his shoulder and carries me towards Loki's cell. 'Hey! You idiot! Let me go! Hey!" I struggle and curse, but it doesn't help. Not until we are in Loki's cell. 'Have fun with her, brother.' Brother? They are brothers? But they definitely don't share the same father. There is no DNA test needed.

'Don't leave me alone with this guy' I complain, while the soldiers and Thor are leaving the cell and ignoring me. Great. Haven't I said earlier, that my problems will get even bigger? I am used to being right, but this time I could've gone without it. Voluntarily.

But as I saw what they locked up in my former cell, I am quite glad that I ended up with Loki. The new inmate is nearly three meters tall, has scales and horns and he smells pretty bad. Aside from that he's drooling and he eats raw meat. 'Bilgesnipe leg' Loki explains quietly. Luckily someone darkens the mesh of energy so I don't have to watch this strange creature anymore. There's only a smooth, black screen now. And smacking noises, followed by a belch and a tremendous fart. At least ventilation works here.

I deny myself the question what a bilgesnipe is. I fear I'd get an answer that left me even more confused. Apropos food, my stomach's growling. I take an apple and bite into it. I'm surprised. It is so sweet and juicy and intense like I've never experienced before. Well, at least catering is good. But I don't know about the company. Will it work? At least now I can throw books at him when he gets annoying, which will happen pretty soon. And I'm not intending to avoid it. That's not my style.


	3. A huge problem

**A huge problem**

Slowly it becomes clear to me, that I won't get home easily.

Great! How am I supposed to explain that to my boss? 'I am sorry for not coming to work, I was sitting in jail in Asgard, together in a cell with the God of Lies.' I can visualize her expression literally and that scares me way more than the huge monster in my former cell. I can kiss my job good bye. At least I have my own bed and I don't have to sleep on the ground, just stay positive. Randomly I take one of the books and open it. Of course I can't read it. I don't master runes. Is there a storybook, maybe, I can look at? Or a coloring book? I'm bored. It seems that Loki read my thoughts. His faces speaks volumes.

'Let's get back to topic and the fact, that you behaved really impertinent to me. You may apologize now. I assume it might be advantageous for our coexisting in this cell, if we clarified the circumstances.' Bugger me, my ears are ringing. Where does he get such sentences? I look around, see a thick charcoal on the table and take it. Then I get up, squat on the ground and draw a line exactly in the middle of the room on the floor. Loki watches my doing confused.

'I'm sorry, that you are so sensitive. This is my range, this is yours, circumstances clarified. We share the bathroom, we pee sitting down until I get shoes.' Isn't that a clear statement?

'You are joking, right?' he asks seriously. Do I really have to discuss now toilet seats being up or down and similar problems that result from living together with a man? Especially when we do not live together voluntarily? 'I'm totally serious, particularly about that last part. Apart from that.. just stay where you are.' Of course, he doesn't. Swiftly he jumps to his feet and with three huge steps he is in my range respectively directly in front of my bed. Angrily he leans near me and flashes his still gorgeous eyes at me. 'You are not aware of any boundaries, you lack of all respect and you are bold.' Congratulations, Mr. Prince Laufeyson, you observed that well. Maybe 'cheeky' would have been a good and fitting word, too. I preferred a real compliment, but life isn't always a bowl of cherries. 'Did you want to intimidate me? Didn't work.' Am I wrong or is he suppressing a chuckle? Damn, those eyes are making me really nervous.

'In case you did not notice: no one from the outside can look into this cell. It is like this every night. And no one will come to your rescue, if you scream. It is like this every night, too. Do not think, that I would be afraid to harm you. There is so much blood on my hands, yours would not matter. Not in the slightest.'

Okay, that worked. Now I'm intimidated. 'Sorry', I mutter and bite my tongue, but too late, my next sentence already popped out. 'Do I have to go down on my knees to beg your forgiveness?' I can see a strange kind of enthusiasm in his expression that I don't like. Do I really have to get down and beg?

'This would be sign of comprehending, woman.' I thought so. 'Would you be so kind to take a step back, so I have enough room to get in an appropriate, kneeling position?' I have to fight down the urge to burst out in laughter as he really steps back. With a absolutely serious expression I strike my clothes and get on my knees inconveniently.

'Oh, I very much beg your forgiveness for my impertinent behaviour. It will happen never again.' At least not in the next two seconds. 'You are a good liar. Get up. You are hopeless.' What? First he threatens me, then I get on my knees and now this? That's all? How disappointing. 'Serving doesn't suit me much, I'm really sorry.' I smile at him peaceable and he returns that smile. Little laughter lines show up around his eyes. God, that god looks good. He has something charming, boyish when he smiles.

Inconveniently I get back up, my kneecap makes a cracking noise. The older I get, the more it does that. 'So you've been here for quite some time then?' The sovereign, to this point smiling face darkens in seconds. 'I do not want to talk about it' he explains discontentedly to me and purses his lips a little. Oh, now he's even sulking. No, how cute! Pity, that I didn't pack a lollipop with which I could comfort him. Certain is - the Prince screwed things up and finds it unjust, that he has to live with the consequences. At least I assume that. Furthermore he seems quite inconsistent, which, in combination with his good looks, could become a huge problem for me. I really don't suffer much from a helper syndrome, but I have the uncool gift of understanding such people, which ends up in therapy-like conversations, that I really should not hold. So for diversion I should stop asking questions.

'Adapt yourself to a longer sojourn. You are so unimportant, that they might have forgotten you already' he explains hatefully. 'Like you?' I hiss. 'I am the eyesore of a glorious family, forgetting me might be the easiest option.' Right, first he sulks, now he's drowning in self-pity. I think I'm getting a migraine.

I sneeze, because I'm pretty cold. Eventually I sit down on my bed and shove my feet under the blanket. And now I'm sitting here. In jail with a strange guy, my feet are icecold and I'm getting homesick and to cap it all craving. Everything is quite great.

'What is a Bifrost?' I ask finally and interrupt his thoughts, which seemed to be quite dark. 'It is not a Bifrost, it is the Bifrost. In your world it is called the Rainbow Bridge. It is a connection between the different worlds.' 'There are more than one?' I stare at him in disbelief and shake my head. 'It is so typical for you human beings to think that you were the only existing beings.' He might be right. What do I know, I'm a worm, an ant. I should consider myself lucky to be beware of my own existence. 'Have you been in Midgard anyway?' I want to know. 'One of the main reasons because I am here has to do with it' he confesses ruefully. Strange, shouldn't I have heard about that? But I didn't, which doesn't really mean anything.

'And so you got imprisoned for life?' He nods and avoids my questioning looks. Good Lord, how long does one live as a god? How old might he be? I'll better not ask. 'I do not want to talk about that either. Why do you not tell me something about your life, woman? Maybe it cheers me up.' 'I don't want to talk about that. That would depress you. It's a big yawn.' To be honest, I don't want to roll out my private life in front of that guy, it's none of his business. 'If you say so. Then I do not have anything left to say to you, woman. I wish to sleep now.' Well, I wish for a sharp object, with which I could hurt him. I guess both of us won't go to sleep perfectly happy.

I pull the blanket up to my chin, ignore all the strange noises from the other inmates and try to get some sleep. The light in our cell gets dim suddenly, it gets nearly completely dark. I can see Lokis silhouette lying on his bed. Lying on his bed he had is arms crossed under his head. I wonder what he's thinking about. Whatever it may be, it's none of my business. Silence spreads, interrupted by horrible snoring, farting and one or two screams, that made one's flesh crawl. Somehow everything feels very hopeless.

It seems as if the prince was right. The next day we get three meals, but no one shows up to question me or to set me free. I fold some ships out of some slips of paper and one crane, that's all I can do in paper folding. Loki is quite interested and after I showed him how a boat is folded, he continues with other figures and of course he succeeds. I'm devastated as he presents a pig. No, it's a bilgesnipe made out of paper. Damn, imprisonment with a guy like Loki is acrid, he can do everything better. Afterwards we play 'I spy' and he wins again.

I ask him about six numbers from 1 to 49 and write them down, just in case if I got home, so I might win the lottery. If. I'm starting to lose faith in that thought. And by now I'm too depressed to fight with him and I'm only lying on my back, starring at the ceiling while drowning in self-pity, which isn't really my style usually.

'This will pass, next is you getting angry about the injustice that happened to you. Then there is frustration, followed by acceptance.' Oh, thanks for the enlightenment. I want out of here, I'm bottomless craving, still wearing the same clothes as yesterday, I'm on edge and tired because I didn't sleep a wink.

I doze off and wake up in the middle of the night because of a bloodcurdling scream, followed by a whimper. But this time it doesn't origin in a nearby cell but in my own. Apparently Loki has a nightmare. A bad one. Doesn't it just drive you round the bend? 'Shhhtt!' I hiss angrily. Another whimper, then a sob. Oh please, don't let him call for his mummy, I'll get soft and kind otherwise. And I can't do that, I have to safe up all the kindness for my job.

Annoyed I grope for anything in the dim light, that could help me to wake up Loki without getting up. And I find something. A book. A little, handy Book, that bears witness to its outstanding flying abilities as it hits Loki right in the back of his head. 'Ouch!' Okay, problem solved. He has no nightmare anymore and I can go back to sleep. At least I thought so.

'Do you have taken leave of your senses, woman? To hit me with a book?!' Prince Blackhair is angry, a little oil lamp lightens up and draws flickering shadows on the white wall. 'It was just a booklet. You made a hell of a row. Calm down and go back to sleep.' Does he have to start such a fuss because I threw a book at him and accidentally hit him in the head? I bet he experienced worse. 'Calm down?' 'Yes, Your Holiness, calm down. You had a nightmare and whined like a child.' Loki sighs loudly and shuts the light. I'm relieved, that he didn't strangle or subjected me. A bit reassured I snuggle back in my blanket and a couple of minutes later I'm fast asleep.

Soon after I wake up again - by the chattering of my own teeth. It's freezing cold in the cell, probably the heating failed. My breath turns instantly into steam as I'm breathing out. My whole body is shivering. 'Loki..? Loki! Hey!' He should have been woken up alone by my chattering of teeth, seriously. With numb fingers I turn the little lever of the oil lamp on my night stand, the flame gets bigger and I see something sitting on Lokis bed. It's huge, blue and it has red eyes. That is the biggest mutant-smurf-demon you could imagine and it has eaten Loki - the Prince is gone. Now I have literally a huge problem.


	4. Good bad guys and nightmares

**Good bad guys and nightmares**

I am still staring bewildered at the giant. It's blue, it's scary. Strange lines are covering his whole body, like the tattoos the Maori are wearing. Its delicate parts are covered by some kind of loincloth. It looks a bit like extemporized underpants.

It lifts its head and stares at me with red gleaming eyes. 'Did you eat the royal nagger? If so, I'm really thankful. I won't snitch on you' I address the monstrosity bravely. Its eyes get a bit redder and it bares its teeth. They are pointy and huge.

'You don't want to eat me. I'm inedible. Seriously.' What am I doing here? I talk to this blue thing that apparently ate my fellow inmate. Best would be if I gave that thing a bottle of ketchup and accepted my fate. A smile runs across its face, at least it looks like a smile. Something seems familiar to me.

'You don't fear anything, do you?' the blue being asks with a deep, dark voice. 'Yeah, I do. I fear the revenue board, the NSA, dumb people and bad food out of the microwave.' The giant hums to it; I can't say what its purpose might be. 'Where's Loki? You didn't really eat him, right?' The Prince did jar on my nerves, but eating him isn't necessary. I wouldn't be surprised if I was found guilty for it.

'Silly human child.' Did it call me child? Does it know how old I am? 'Stupid mutant smurf' I mutter.

'Will you eat me or can I go back to sleep? And why is it so damn cold? Damn! How did you get in here? Can I get out this way as well? If you tell me, I'll invite you for ice cream - or any other delicacy. Maybe a sheep? An inmate?' Isn't that a deal?

'Are you really so fearless or are you just stupid?' it hisses. I think, it's a mix of both. I am in a desperate position, what do I have to lose? 'I am a Frost Giant. A Jotun. You should be afraid. I am the monster beneath your bed.

'Gosh. I don't think that it ever looked beneath my bed. Nothing fits under there next to all the junk that's already lying there.

'I'm too old to belief in monsters. I don't even belief that I'm really here.' That is the truth.

I'm not afraid of the dark; I don't fear noises in the night. I like thunderstorms and storms, the silence of the night, the feeling to be completely alone. Just because this Jotun thing is at least a meter taller than me is no reason to pee my pants. They are the only ones I got here, it wouldn't be wise.

'But you can see me. You can't deny that.' Is the Ice Giant offended now? Like Loki? A strange thought crosses my mind: is the Ice Giant Loki? Can he do such tricks? I think he's capable of it.

'Loki?' I ask hesitantly. Again there is this smile leaving no doubts. That blue thing is Loki. 'Cool turn, really. Will you keep on staring at me angrily, because I threw a book at you? On the fly nothing better came to my mind.' I wait for an answer, which is not coming. The cold vanishes and he turns back into the guy that it is still pretty attractive in my view. Better I don't ask what it is with the Ice Giants. 'Good night, Your Grace' I mutter and hope that I can sleep finally.

Short while after the scenario repeats. Loki is whining in his sleep like a little boy, who has a nightmare. My loud 'Shhht!' doesn't show any effects and I don't think I should throw a book at him again. But somehow I have to sleep and I can't sleep like that. 'Damn it!' I curse quietly, get up and tiptoe to him.

He frowns badly, his face distorted with fear. Whatever he's dreaming about, it has to be pretty intense. A bit uncertain I reach out my hand and squat down. Finally I lay my hand on his shoulder and shake him lightly. His whining turns into a scream. I quit being careful and nudge him strongly. Eventually he wakes up; blinks confused at me and exhales in relief. 'Pretty intense, huh?' I whisper.

He nods shortly, raises up and strokes his hair out of his face. A strand remains and I'm tempted to strike it back, but I leave it. Slowly I feel sorry for him. 'Go to sleep, woman.' That I'll do. Let's see, how long I'm allowed to sleep this time. 'Woman? Thank you.' 'My name is Tina, not woman. And you're welcome, monster smurf.'

Luck's on my side, I can sleep until the lights are turned on. Though I feel absolutely whacked and I'm grumpy. This is the second morning without coffee and cigarettes. In short, I'm in a really bad mood. Loki seems plenty bleary-eyed as well, as he fluffs up his blanket and makes his bed carefully. The shadows under his eyes are possibly record-breaking - I don't want to know how I'm looking.

I trudge into the little room with sink and toilet, brush my teeth and find my reflection in the mirror somehow creepy and yawn. 'Damn, I look like shit.'

'Slightly understated. Are you done soon?' Loki has no manners standing in the open door. I could swear that I closed it. 'Did you ever hear of privacy?' I hiss, squeeze past him, shoot him a lethal look and sit down on my bed once more. I can't bear it much longer; soon I'll get cabin fever.

'Here. This book is written in your language.' Loki dangles a book in front of me. Grimm's Fairy Tales. 'I already know that, but thank you. I've had my fill of fairy tales and adventures.'

'I like those stories` he explains without asking. I hope he doesn't want to read to me now; I just want to be left alone.

'I think you did not fail noticing, that you have been here for only two days. And you have had enough already?' He grins shabby. Great, now he has to point it out? 'Changed my mind, I want the book' I tell him. He hands it over, turns and attempts to sit down. That's my chance.

The storybook flies gracefully through the air; Loki ducks more gracefully, nearly daintily and catches it with an outstretched hand. He didn't even turn while doing this.

That looked really impressive and cool. Much cooler are his reflexes though. The book races fast towards me. And, you know about my tremendous natural grace, hits me directly at the forehead. Now I know about heavy reading, too. The book hit me with an edge and now I'm bleeding. Tears sting in my eyes and for the first time something appears in Lokis eyes that might be real regret.

'That... I didn't want that! You are even bleeding...' he stutters.

Is it, that he can't stand the sight of blood or is he just surprised by the fact, that my blood is red and not green? Hastily he runs into the bathroom, I hear running water and shortly afterwards this wretch with the great aim comes back with a wet towel.

My head throbs and blood is running down my forehead. 'Hold still.' Oh my, Loki is really sorry. He even kneels down and wipes off the blood. It would have been enough, if he just handed me the towel. 'I won't die. But you were right yesterday, when you threatened me. Now you have my blood on your hands.' I exaggerate a bit and love the fact, that he mothers me. I could get used to it.

Carefully he dapples my forehead; none of the other inmates seems interested. His look is bewildered and he really makes an effort. 'Leave it, little prince.' I lay my hand upon his and smile. For a moment our eyes meet and I somehow feel a bit strange suddenly. 'Are you sure?' he asks quietly, his eyes still on me. 'Yeah, alright. We're even, when it comes to book throwing. Seems like I have to think of something else.'

A wet towel can hurt pretty bad when slammed across one's face with enough strength, but for now I waive revenge and instead I go to the bathroom to see, what damaged as been caused.

The wound stopped bleeding already, but it is pretty visible. I have short hair and can't brush a bang over it. But I am as pale as Loki and the shadows under my eyes distract and lead the attention from my bruised forehead.

'I thought, you would duck. Really bad reflexes.' Loki tries to justify his behavior. 'Well, wrong thought, you were much too fast. But let's just forget it, nothing bad happened.' I grasp the storybook, open it and start reading. And so another day in jail goes by without anything interesting happening. Something you can't say about the following night.

Loki still has nightmares, throws himself from one side to another in his bed and screams from time to time 'No! No!'

I guess, today I'm somehow in a social phase, as I try to wake him carefully again. This time he doesn't wake up not until I'm leaned over him and whisper his name and finally I put my hand on his chest. His heart is racing and with a scream he wakes up. 'It's alright. It was just a dream, Loki.' It brought cold sweat to his brow and his heart is still racing. 'Thank you for waking me up' he mutters faintly. He looks at my hand still lying on his chest and I pull it away quickly. I feel the urgent necessity to put my arms around and to comfort him, but I'm not bold enough to really implement it.

Actually I want to go back to my bed as Loki harrumphs and examines me for a long time. 'Would you... would keep sitting here maybe? Not for long?' Okay, he found the button one has to press, that I get soft. Really soft. 'Sure.' I can't say more as I sit down at on the edge of the bed with appropriate space between us. Loki turns his back on me and I hear, how his breath becomes more quiet and more regular. I think, he fell asleep. Yet I keep my seat until I get so tired, that I decide to go back to my bed and to sleep.

I wake up with a strange, oppressive feeling. Someone is holding me. Why am I not lying in my bed, but am sprawled next to Loki? No, I didn't really fall asleep here?

Apparently I did. I remember that I wanted to go back to my bed, but I didn't, otherwise I wouldn't lay here. Next to a prince, who has his arms wrapped around me. Am I his surrogate plushy? That's infra dig. But I have to confess, that it feels good. Besides I'm way too tired to get up now. I close my eyes again; approach a bit to Loki and try to see it as redemption for the book on my forehead.

The next time I wake up, I lie in my own bed while Loki eats an apple. I don't want to know how he got me into my bed. Or if I just imagined it.

'Well rested?' he asks unfamiliar cheerfully.

'I guess. Where is my coffee?'

I have a penchant to torture myself. There is water. As every day. Fresh spring water, I assume.

'I cannot wait on that.'

I feared so. So it's water and fruit. I think I haven't lived that healthy for years. No cigarettes, no coffee, no wine. Damn, how boring.

'What's the news?'

I want to know. Of course, there is no news. It would have been too great. Just at this moment Loki worries on the pocket of his top and spies at the hallway, where some guards are appearing. 'I am sorry, just play along.' 'Huh?' I don't understand anything, what should I play along with?

I get the answer promptly and unexpected. Loki draws something from his pocket, which reflects the light, grabs me roughly and pulls me to him, as he puts the thing to my throat. Something warm runs down my throat and the soldiers in the hallway get frantic in an instant. It finally sunk in. That thing is a knife, the warm something is my blood and Loki uses me for something.

I don't dare moving, I can feel his determination. 'Do you intend to do something or do you prefer watching how I cut that woman's throat?' Loki addresses the guards, triumph and madness in his voice. 'Guys, I think he's serious' I caw helplessly. Does he want to escape and leave me alone here? Whoopee!

The guards put their heads together and finally two of them turn the corner, the door opens. I can't say definitely, what happened at that moment. Everything happened so fast, I got flung against one of the soldiers, I screamed terrified, a cold hand grabbed me and the next moment everything turned black. Great, now I'm dead and it is Lokis fault. Hopefully I'll become a poltergeist so I can jar on his nerve for all eternity.


	5. Asylum for a god

**Asylum for an Asgardian**

If I was dead, my butt, on whom I landed so stupidly, wouldn't hurt like that. That is the first thought coming to my mind after the darkness clears up and I finally dare to open my eyes. I pull myself together, rub my posterior and blink. Hey, I know this place. It's my flat. Lights are on, the television is working, fat neighbors' kid is happy that it can watch Nickelodeon again or the rerun of some other stupid series. Everything's fine I determine relieved. My hallway is still full of lint and my bathroom is there as well. Only one thing is not really okay: I'm not alone here.

Loki is standing in the middle of my living room, frowning on the TV obviously wondering, why three nearly naked, busty women, who like to buy cheap electronics are running around on the screen. I can't tell him that either, for me that's no buying inducement.

'Okay, Mr. Prince from the depths of Aesir dungeons. You owe me an explanation. NOW!'

Loki seems to realize just now, that I am there as well.

'Oh, forgive me. Of course. That was a successful escape attempt.' He grins.

How can he grin now? Is he completely stupid?

'And how long will it take for a horde of horned barbarians to invade my flat to bring you back? I doubt that my insurance covers damages caused like that.'

'Quite long. I thought of everything. I broke the magical barrier that Odin imposed on me and made sure that Heimdall can't see us. I covered all our tracks and I cast a spell of oblivion on the guards.'

Oh yeah. So it was that easy. I couldn't keep up from the word Odin. My head throbs; I have a cut on my throat that hurts and a slightly psychotic god in my living room. Everything's fine.

'Where do you go?' he asks astonished as I leave the living room. 'Taking a shower. Alone and without ruffle or excitement. Afterwards I'll drink half a liter of coffee, smoke two packs of cigarettes and all in company of a bottle of wine. And if you're still here then, I'll make an appointment to see a neurologist. For both of us.'

I leave him there with these words and finally get a shower. For the first time since I've lived here, I lock the bathroom door. Not, that I could prevent something that happens either way, but it is important for my own comfort right now. I'm showering for thirty minutes, towel me down, put on some lotion and finally I put on clean clothes.

As I enter my living room I see standing on the table a cup of freshly brewed coffee, an ashtray and a wine glass along with a bottle of wine. Loki sits on the couch, remote in hand and he zaps through the channels without noticing me. The light of the television reflects in his green eyes and he smirks about what he sees in the tube. He found his bearings in the human world amazingly fast. A bit anxious I risk a look into my kitchen. My brand-new coffee brewer stands unscathed where I left it. The dirty dishes as well. Loki is the first man entering and leaving my kitchen without leaving behind an enormous chaos. That's really daunting.

Wordless I sip my coffee, light a cigarette and sigh blissfully. Finally normality! Except the man on my sofa.

'Do you still want to get me to a neurologist?'

'No. The bathroom is free, if you want, you can take a shower. But I can't get you any fresh clothes, mine won't fit.'

'I will clean mine with magic, thank you.' He smiles at me and then gets up. A little later I hear running water. Loki's showering. Without clothes. That's the way you do it, even in Asgard. Why makes me the thought so nervous suddenly? I'm all grown up and I know how a naked man looks like. Maybe it's because I don't know how a naked god looks like. I think, only few people know that. I have some pictures in my mind, that are not x-rated. Absolutely not.

The water stops running and shortly after an obvious relaxed and clean Loki enters my living room.

'I think I will have one of those coffees, too' he tells me cheerfully.

'Wait, I'll make you one' I answer quickly. How did he manage making coffee before anyway without reading the manual? Did he subject it? Is it his loyal servant now? Maybe he is just really clever? If so, I'm really jealous. He's capable of anything,..

'Before you go to the kitchen, I would like to take care of the wound on your throat. You mortals tend to get infections quickly.' His remorse is plain. 'Plasters are in the bathroom, sanitizer as well' I explain swiftly. I totally forgot about the damn cut.

'I won't need that. Just hold still and keep your head a little higher. You are really tiny.' Thank you. What can I do about my genes, which they are like they are? I origin in a family of tiny people, we are all not taller than 1,65m. But we compensate that with big mouths, it's also genetically determined. Hard inheritage, that gets you in uncomfortable situations quite fast.

'Do you do now hocus pocus stuff like Harry Potter? Without flicking and flinging?' I ask joking. Yes, I read the books and I watched the movies. The one who can't flick, flings. My favorite is still Severus Snape.

'Who is Harry Potter?' he wants to know, while he's waiting that I lift my head. 'A fictional character of a book. Like you' I mutter as I finally attend his orders.

'The difference is, that I am real. That might sting a bit now.' A bit is understated. It burns like hell and I bite my lip to avoid crying. The cut didn't hurt that much. 'Done. Look at it in the mirror.'

Nothing's there, where minutes ago a red cut has been. Great thing, his magic.

'Thank you. Don't you think you could have told me before? And who is Heimdall?'

Loki drinks coffee and thinks. 'Not important. He will not find me. And as I told you before, than plan would not have worked, if I told you. Your name was Tina, right? I need your help.'

I feared so. 'What do you want? Asylum?' He nods. Of course he wants asylum. 'I will show you my gratitude of course. But first I need accommodation and support to settle down.' Okay, I could send him to the social assistance office tomorrow, he would get support there.

'Money is no problem, if that is your worry. I will use my magic.' 'You can conjure up money? Are you spoken for or are you single?' Actually it was a joke and I didn't expect an answer. 'I have spent the last decade in a cell. ALONE. Does that answer your question?' Huh, seems like I was a little bit insensitive. 'Sorry, I didn't know that' I mutter apologetically, put the empty coffee mug down and uncork the bottle of wine. 'Loki? Why did you turn into this blue thing? This Jude-guy?' 'It is JÖTNAR. Because I can. Because I am a Jotun.'

Because he can. Typically male. The standard answer for everything. By now I am using it often and I like it, too, I am adaptive.

'You are Jotun. And a god. Man, sounds exhausting.' And he is a man. A man who has been sitting in a cell for ten years. Alone. The tocsin rings very loud. I am a woman. With breasts and a considerable body, in my opinion. Maybe I should ask him to sleep on the balcony, for my own safety. I have zip ties, too, in my living room cupboard along with my tools. Though I still think he is interesting. Besides its cold outside, it snows.

'You need not fear me. I am depending on your help, so I will not bother you with my Jötnar form. I will take care that nothing harms you.' I sigh inwardly. Never have I been told something like that by a guy, at least not in this way. It is obvious, that he will use me und right now I don't care, because I emptied my glass and I'm slightly tipsy.

'I am so sorry, but I have to go to bed, I have to work tomorrow.' I say and point out for him to get up and pull the lugs, that are sewed on my corner sofa. 'Oh! A sofa, which one can use as a bed! Fantastic construction!' Yes, Ikea delights everyone, even over the borders of this universe. Unless a screw is missing.

After I got pillows and a blanket for Loki, I go to my own bed. His comment on how this bed couch is no appropriate bed for the night for a prince I ignore.

I feel a bit uneasy to leave him alone in my flat for an entire day. But he won't subject my indoor plants, will he?

In the middle of the night I woke up by a somehow familiar noise. Loki and his nightmares. No, I have to sleep, I have to work soon and I have to be fit. I won't tiptoe into my living room now to wake him. I've been nice sufficiently, enough already. Enough of the good deeds. Another whimper follows. I pull the blanket over my ears and still can hear it. 'Damn!' I push my blanket aside and get up. Come off it!

Exceptionally I don't bump into something and think about how I can save Loki from his suffering this time. He needs asylum; he has to be nice to me. Oh, what delighting nasty thoughts come to my mind! But I am a nice woman and neither will I throw a wet washcloth at him nor will I wake him up with a lighter. Poor thing is enough traumatized already.

This time I put my hand on his naked forearm. His clothes lie neatly folded on the armchair. He's tidy, too. The fine, small hair goes up as I do it. Instead of shaking him, I stroke carefully over his bare skin. Man, how long has it been since I had a male visitor?

Loki mutters something and whimpers again. 'It's okay' I whisper barely audible. What am I doing; in the middle of the night? Am I insane? Why do I find everything that happened to me in those last days perfectly normal? 'Please, Odin,.. No, father,... it was Thor's idea...' Loki talks in his sleep. Again I gently stroke his forearm. 'Hey,.. Loki? It's just a dream. Everything's alright. I'm here.' The last two sentences sound totally stupid. What can I align? 'You are here' he says sleepy. I didn't turn on the lights in the living room and can barely see anything. Without another word he lifts his blanket a bit, I can hear it more than I see it. Without a word myself I crawl to him under the blanket, as if it was the most normal thing in the world and as if I never did anything else my whole life. Luckily I have the late shift tomorrow and work starts at noon.

Ramrodly I lie beside him, wondering. What on earth makes me crawl into a guy's bed in the middle of the night? A guy that is almost a stranger to me? At least the sofa is way broader than the bed in the cell has been so I can keep my distance. Slow but steady being near him makes me more than nervous.

After a while my neck hurts and I think I should go back to my bed. There are pillows. When I move carefully to get up, an arm gets wrapped around me. 'Don't.' A hand pushes a pillow under my head. Wow, Loki, you are good. Leave it, I might like you in the end. Right at this moment it comes clearly into my mind: I missed my chance to jump, because I think he's more than nice already. And I have colleagues knowing me better than I do. They know my dirty smile when anything happens when it comes to men. And I know that my smile will be so big, that one just can't miss it.


End file.
